The first thing I did on this was read through the artist's comments. One thing sort of caught my attention- that you were rewriting this from memory. That's a double-edged sword... I've had to do that before, basically reciting something I had written a while ago without any help. At one end, it's good for getting what you had before so you could use it as a base, but at the same time, if your writing style has changed or you've started to improve or advance since then (depending on the time in between the original writing and the rewriting) it can sound.... well not very good. I would definitely watch close on the quality of your work if you continue to work like that.

Also, I've read the chronicles of narnia, and there are plenty of other books with the word "chronicle" in them, and while the premise has been used before it's certainly in a new way. I don't think you should worry about the title, not in that way anyway.

Now, I understand how a little kid would think like the way Kimmi does in the first part of the story, but it's a rather sudden change between her and her friend. That's probably supposed to be there, but to me it felt out of place and choppy. It was also kind of hard at first to understand exactly what was going on.

That was the only thing I saw that might need improvement until I read the part where the boy ends up in the wishing forest. That was... well, obviously I don't want to say not realistic because it's fantasy, but the way he supposedly understood parts of what she said didn't seem to fit. She used some very flowery and grown up phrases and words, but he seemed to be able to at least follow along. Especially when she goes off on a long tangent explaining the situation in the kingdom and the kid knows to ask what it's got to do with him. I can see where you are leading this and it certainly sounds like it will be interesting, but this is almost catering too much to the reader and it took away a lot of the feel of the story for me.

Other than this, the story itself seemed pretty sound, if certainly very sad :C Keep it up, and if anything don't worry too much about the editing. Just crank this stuff out and be done with it. Once you get a sizable amount of text that would be a good idea to go back and refine, but I have a feeling you see this as a pretty epic story. Try not to get caught in the editing and forget about advancing the story. :3